Five Styles of Responding to Conflict

Curriculum	Transforming Conflict, p. 38
Lesson Name	Five Styles of Responding to Conflict
Grade Band	Middle School (6-8) High School (9-12)

Curriculum

Transforming Conflict, p. 38

Lesson Name

Five Styles of Responding to Conflict

Grade Band

Middle School (6-8)

High School (9-12)

Required Material/s	Copies of Handout 1: Five Styles of Responding to Conflict Copies of Handout 2: Deciding Which Conflict Style to Use
Standards / Competencies	CASEL Core Competencies Relationship skills Responsible decision-making Self-awareness Self-management Social awareness Common Core ELA-Literacy Standards Speaking and listening Reading Writing NCSS Social Studies Themes Culture Individuals, groups, and institutions Global connections Civic ideals and practices Individual development and identity
Recommended Time	45 minutes

Required Material/s

Copies of Handout 1: Five Styles of Responding to Conflict
Copies of Handout 2: Deciding Which Conflict Style to Use

Standards / Competencies

CASEL Core Competencies

Relationship skills
Responsible decision-making
Self-awareness
Self-management
Social awareness

Common Core ELA-Literacy Standards

Speaking and listening
Reading

Writing

NCSS Social Studies Themes

Culture
Individuals, groups, and institutions
Global connections
Civic ideals and practices
Individual development and identity

Recommended Time

45 minutes

Essential Question	How can understanding different conflict styles help us engage with conflict?
Learning Objectives	Students will: Learn that there are different styles of responding to conflict. Connect conflict styles to the emotions and outcomes they elicit. Identify accommodation, avoidance, competition, compromise, and collaboration as styles of responding to conflict. Explain which conflict styles should be used or avoided in different situations.
Important Vocabulary	Accommodation – A style of responding to conflict that involves meeting the needs of the person you’re in conflict with, even if that means ignoring your own needs. Avoidance – A style of responding to conflict where an individual takes action to withdraw from the conflict, either physically or emotionally. Competition – A style of responding to conflict where one aims to win the conflict, often at the expense of the other party. Compromise – A style of responding to conflict that aims to have all parties involved get a portion of what they want or need. Collaboration – A style of responding to conflict that aims to acknowledge and address what all parties want and need in partnership.

Essential Question

How can understanding different conflict styles help us engage with conflict?

Learning Objectives

Students will:

Learn that there are different styles of responding to conflict.
Connect conflict styles to the emotions and outcomes they elicit.
Identify accommodation, avoidance, competition, compromise, and collaboration as styles of responding to conflict.
Explain which conflict styles should be used or avoided in different situations.

Important Vocabulary

Accommodation – A style of responding to conflict that involves meeting the needs of the person you’re in conflict with, even if that means ignoring your own needs.
Avoidance – A style of responding to conflict where an individual takes action to withdraw from the conflict, either physically or emotionally.
Competition – A style of responding to conflict where one aims to win the conflict, often at the expense of the other party.
Compromise – A style of responding to conflict that aims to have all parties involved get a portion of what they want or need.
Collaboration – A style of responding to conflict that aims to acknowledge and address what all parties want and need in partnership.

Activating Prior Knowledge	Ask: How do you typically act when you are in a conflict with another person? Collect responses. Say: Today we are going look at five styles someone might use to respond to conflict. As I introduce each style, and ask follow-up questions, I would like you all to write down additional words and ideas you associate with each style on Handout 1. – Read the following descriptions to the class: Accommodation aims to meet the needs of the person you’re in conflict with, even if that means ignoring your own needs. Suppose I accommodate someone when we disagree: How do you think it will make me feel during the conflict? What about over time? What circumstances might make me decide to use accommodation? When might I decide to use this style to reach a long-term solution to a conflict? When might I decide to use accommodation to reach a short-term solution? Avoidance is taking action to withdraw from a conflict. Suppose when another person and I get into a conflict I avoid them either physically or emotionally: How do you think it will make me feel during the conflict? What about over time? What circumstances might make me decide to use avoidance? When might I decide to use avoidance to reach a long-term solution to a conflict? When might I decide to use avoidance to reach a short-term solution? Competition is a style where someone aims to win the conflict. Suppose I and the person I’m in conflict with are trying to win against each other: How do you think it will make me feel during the conflict? What about over time? What circumstances might make me decide to use competition? When might I decide to use competition to reach a long-term solution to a conflict? When might I decide to use competition to reach a short-term solution? Compromise aims to have all involved get a portion of what they want or need. Suppose I try to find a compromise every time I encounter a conflict: How do you think it will make me feel during the conflict? What about over time? What circumstances might make me decide to use compromise? When might I decide to use compromise to reach a long-term solution to a conflict? When might I decide to use compromise to reach a short-term solution? Collaboration aims to acknowledge what all parties want and need in partnership. Suppose working out a conflict is shaped by this goal: How do you think it will make me feel during the conflict? What about over time? What circumstances might make me decide to use collaboration? When might I decide to use collaboration to reach a long-term solution to a conflict? When might I decide to use collaboration to reach a short-term solution?
Core Instruction	Say: There is always more than one way to respond to a conflict. With a partner you are going to read the different conflict scenarios on Handout 2. Together, you and your partner will decide on two ways you might potentially engage in each conflict, as well as at least one way you should probably avoid. Then, identify which conflict styles match with that way of approaching the conflict. When everyone has had enough time to read and discuss each scenario, we will spend a few minutes sharing our suggestions to see the similar or different conflict engagement styles that different people might choose.
Wrap-up	Have your students take a Conflict Styles Assessment to learn more about their personal “go to” styles of responding to conflict. This tool, from the United States Institute of Peace, is a fascinating way to highlight how their thinking might lead them to intuitively respond to conflict. For each of the 30 prompts in the survey, students will be asked to choose either statement “A” or statement “B”. Tell students that if neither of the statements matches what they would do, they should select the one that is the closest. There are no right or wrong answers to this survey, just insight on how we think when approaching conflict.
Learning Beyond Classroom Walls	Taking Informed Action: Using video messages, posters, or other communication tools effective for school-wide messaging, create a campaign encouraging students to learn the names of different conflict engagement styles and why any of them might be used in different situations or for different reasons.

Activating Prior Knowledge

Ask: How do you typically act when you are in a conflict with another person? Collect responses.

Say: Today we are going look at five styles someone might use to respond to conflict. As I introduce each style, and ask follow-up questions, I would like you all to write down additional words and ideas you associate with each style on Handout 1.

– Read the following descriptions to the class:

Accommodation aims to meet the needs of the person you’re in conflict with, even if that means ignoring your own needs. Suppose I accommodate someone when we disagree:

How do you think it will make me feel during the conflict? What about over time?
What circumstances might make me decide to use accommodation?
When might I decide to use this style to reach a long-term solution to a conflict?
When might I decide to use accommodation to reach a short-term solution?

Avoidance is taking action to withdraw from a conflict. Suppose when another person and I get into a conflict I avoid them either physically or emotionally:

How do you think it will make me feel during the conflict? What about over time?
What circumstances might make me decide to use avoidance? When might I decide to use avoidance to reach a long-term solution to a conflict?
When might I decide to use avoidance to reach a short-term solution?

Competition is a style where someone aims to win the conflict. Suppose I and the person I’m in conflict with are trying to win against each other:

How do you think it will make me feel during the conflict? What about over time?
What circumstances might make me decide to use competition? When might I decide to use competition to reach a long-term solution to a conflict?
When might I decide to use competition to reach a short-term solution?

Compromise aims to have all involved get a portion of what they want or need. Suppose I try to find a compromise every time I encounter a conflict:

How do you think it will make me feel during the conflict? What about over time?
What circumstances might make me decide to use compromise?
When might I decide to use compromise to reach a long-term solution to a conflict?
When might I decide to use compromise to reach a short-term solution?

Collaboration aims to acknowledge what all parties want and need in partnership. Suppose working out a conflict is shaped by this goal:

How do you think it will make me feel during the conflict? What about over time?
What circumstances might make me decide to use collaboration? When might I decide to use collaboration to reach a long-term solution to a conflict?
When might I decide to use collaboration to reach a short-term solution?

Core Instruction

Say: There is always more than one way to respond to a conflict. With a partner you are going to read the different conflict scenarios on Handout 2. Together, you and your partner will decide on two ways you might potentially engage in each conflict, as well as at least one way you should probably avoid. Then, identify which conflict styles match with that way of approaching the conflict. When everyone has had enough time to read and discuss each scenario, we will spend a few minutes sharing our suggestions to see the similar or different conflict engagement styles that different people might choose.

Wrap-up

Have your students take a Conflict Styles Assessment to learn more about their personal “go to” styles of responding to conflict.

This tool, from the United States Institute of Peace, is a fascinating way to highlight how their thinking might lead them to intuitively respond to conflict.

For each of the 30 prompts in the survey, students will be asked to choose either statement “A” or statement “B”. Tell students that if neither of the statements matches what they would do, they should select the one that is the closest. There are no right or wrong answers to this survey, just insight on how we think when approaching conflict.

Learning Beyond Classroom Walls

Taking Informed Action:

Using video messages, posters, or other communication tools effective for school-wide messaging, create a campaign encouraging students to learn the names of different conflict engagement styles and why any of them might be used in different situations or for different reasons.

Download this lesson to access handouts.

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