I have been thinking about Judy Banki since I learned that my fierce friend had passed. The earth shifted on its axis.
I remember Judy from the time we first worked together, to the last visit we had. She was a woman who mattered in our broken world, and I am among those privileged to have known her.
When we first met, Judy was an established figure at Tanenbaum, and I was newly hired as its first Executive Director. That meant I was Judy’s boss, something that she found insulting. After all, she was an expert in interreligious affairs, a key mover in some of the monumental interreligious revolutions in the 20th century – including real world changes in Jewish-Christian relations. I was a nonprofit lawyer, who had led communications for the organization then known as NCCJ. And besides, Judy was an elder in her mid-70’s, and I was her junior by two decades.
To be sure, I tried to be Judy’s boss, but she would have none of it. It took her only a year to convince me that she would – and absolutely could – run our interreligious program independently. As I remember it, the day I told her that she’d won, Judy conceded that she’d been my “curmudgeon”. The next thing I remember is that we were somehow sitting on the floor of my office, laughing so hard that I was crying and our stomachs hurt.
That’s when I entered Judy’s world of curiosity, wit and wisdom. And all the moments and memories that followed.
Judy achieved greatness before the term “feminism” was ubiquitous in our culture. A woman who knew her own mind, she was always thinking, quick and aware of the humor in every adventure. I will forever remember watching my quirky colleague Judy crawling across the office floor in search of her hearing aid – and how we all soon joined her.
But, also, how soon thereafter, I sat in awe at a conference when then-90+ Judy held the room spellbound with theories and stories of building interreligious respect. Something she did when the concept was barely recognized as a value and core principle that could be put into practice.
Judy was the master storyteller. There were her brilliantly written travelogues, which detailed her worldwide travel with narrative, insights and wit. There was also her minute-by-minute recitation on how hard it rained when she walked to get her ride back to New York City. And then, how the traffic was never ending. And how she sat shivering and soaked for over two hours in the air-conditioned vehicle. (Followed by a long Yiddish sigh.)
There are many moments and memories. But one of my favorites was at the end of many Tanenbaum Galas. Judy and I always found each other on the dance floor. And even when she was finding it hard to walk, she’d take my hand and we’d laugh as we made moves to the music.
There is so much to remember when I think of Judy Banki – from her professional greatness to her love of life and her ability to find joy even when life was hard. I will remember her scholarship and work. But mostly, I will remember and treasure how Judy lived and who she was. Thank you for your example, my friend. And rest easy.
Love,
Joyce S. Dubensky
CEO Emerita, Sr. Strategic Advisor